Woman’s Guide to Love and Money
Just got a fresh issue of Fortune, there’s an insert with an excerpt from Jean Chatzky’s “Make Money, Not Excuses” book. I used to subscribe to Jean’s email newsletter, and it was often interesting and useful (but then she started recycling advice too often).
The excerpt offers 2 scenarios of setting up family finances (both call for separate accounts plus a joint account for common expenses), and 4 fight-and-fix scenarios for money arguments. The biggest problems seem to be these:
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Fight 1: “You’re too controlling” Take turns paying bills. Fight 2: “You spend too much” Fight 3: “You don’t tell me anything” Fight 4: “You’re too cheap” |
I can’t give a thorough review of the book since I haven’t read it, but even these 4 short pages offer some good advice. I particularly like the “don’t micromanage” part and this:
“Before you can make either of these systems work, though, you have to be able to hold a conversation about money without its deteriorating into an argument… The good news is, once you start talking about money, it gets easier to keep talking.”
From the very beginning, years ago, we didn’t start our money conversations on the right foot. Now, even when we do intend to be calm and adult when talking about money, one of us very quickly starts yelling. We’ve pre-conditioned ourselves that money is a prickly subject and we can’t talk about it in a reasonable manner.
We’ve got to break that pattern, I just have to get my husband to admit that he starts yelling as often as I do, if not more. 
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I handed over the finances to my wife in the early nineties. She brought us back to the black and now gives ME an allowance. One of the best investments I ever made.
Well, my husband knows he’s lucky in not having to take care of the day-to-day stuff, but he has input into major developments. And *that’s* when some conflicts come up.
Overall, I think we’re both happy with me (the Wife) being the Treasurer